Though the two are often used interchangeably, a significant difference exists between punishment and discipline. Understanding this difference is essential for parents managing their child’s aggressive behavior.

Dr. Jane Nelsen, the mother of Positive Discipline, defined punishment as anything that causes a child to feel blame, shame, or pain. Public punishment particularly leads to these negative feelings, discouraging children and potentially increasing aggression. It often reacts to behavior, emphasizing short-term control over long-term growth.

Discipline, on the other hand, involves training and guidance. This proactive approach helps children develop the skills to manage intense emotions healthily. Instead of punishing your child for hitting another, you can shift your focus to teaching them appropriate coping methods—such as using words to express feelings or walking away from frustrating situations.

Discipline prepares kids for long-term emotional success.